There are clearly a lot of emotions and interpretations swimming in your head right now. Your feelings are real, but you must eventually “let them go”, if not they will block you from personal action. You have provoked some thoughts in me which I hope offer you possibilities.
Be mindful of having “expectations” from from anyone. We cannot control others. When we expect others to “be” or “act” a certain way we are destined to live in perpetual state of disappointment. I have seen people live in disappointment their whole life and it is a very dark existence. Instead, consider what’s possible. There are always possibilities. Living in a world of possibilities opens our minds and hearts.
Since the mid 60’s, the financial reality of living in California is that massive hidden taxes and the overall cost of living make it difficult to live on a single income. The problem stems from profligate spending of big government. It is truly sad and has shaped who we are as a state and a nation.
There are a lot of reasons to be unhappy with Donald Trump, but be mindful of those things he can control versus those which require action from congress. For example, Congress controls who gets money from the government, Trump’s job is to mail the checks.
Be skeptical of the “news”. Pure (honest) news died in the 80’s. The companies that control the media have a biased political agenda and use their power to feed us nonstop propaganda. I include this point because you suggested America has “systemic racism”. There is no data to defend the claim. Systemic Racism is a meme being pushed by the media to divide our country and it saddens me to see it working. Racism is real, there are racist people, there are bad cops, but we are not a nation of systemic racism.
Corruption and injustice are rampant but the true battle is between the political elites and the media vs us (the proletariat). These elites are literally sociopaths. Sociopaths have no moral compass and do not care about anyone or our country. Their only interest is in growing their own power and wealth. Once you see this it explains the behavior of politicians, elites, and the media.
Remember our rights are God given rights, they do not come from government. To believe this you must have Faith & Humility. Your happiness, joy, and your purpose in life come from within you through God. Never surrender control of your bliss to another person, job, or government.